Inspired by a True Neurosis
- slkayne
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
by Sharon Kayne
My most recent novel, Variations on a Romance, released earlier this month, was inspired by a true story. There. I said it. (Deep breath.) For the longest time, I was afraid to tell people. I feared that if people knew I’d borrowed the idea from real life, they wouldn’t think as highly of the book. Or the author. I felt like I was the desperate man behind the curtain pushing knobs and levers to create the illusion of the Great and Powerful Oz—and terrified all the while of being found out.
I came to realize that my fear about the genesis of my book is part of a common neurosis with authors (and other creative types) called Imposter Syndrome. That’s where you’re really certain, deep down in your gut, that you’re not at all talented. That whatever success you’re having is just dumb luck. And you’re quite certain that eventually everyone will find out. Some annoying little Toto dog will pull back the curtain exposing you for what you are: A talentless hack.
Having been a writer for much of my professional life, I didn’t start experiencing imposter syndrome when I began writing novels. I’ve had IS before. But I wrote nonfiction before, and writing fiction seems to ratchet the whole thing up to another level. Because with fiction, you’re just making everything up and that allows more room for doubt. Since I already suffer from depression, I don’t think it’s fair that I have to deal with another damned -ism (even though, technically, neither IS nor depression ends in ‘-ism’).
Despite the fact that bunches of books and movies are marketed as having been inspired by or based on a true story, I was certain I couldn’t let that factoid about my book slip out. In fact, when my stepsister read an advance copy of it, she texted me that she loved the story and it was a cute idea. I didn’t know how to respond. I felt like I should own up to the fact that the “cute idea” wasn’t actually mine, but I was reticent. Would she think less of me as a novelist if I fessed up? Would she think less of the book?
Oddly enough, I love books and movies that are based on true stories. I dare say, we all do. There’s something especially lovely about knowing that the adversity you’ve just watched characters face—and that you cheered them through—was actually overcome by real people. That grain of truth gives the story a heart and soul that pure fiction can only dream of. It renews your faith in humanity’s ability to rise above wretched odds or awful villains.
And I never think that whoever wrote the book or made the movie was an empty imposter. A talentless hack who’s unable to come up with a unique story idea of their own. Instead, the book or movie often makes me curious to know more about the story it’s based on.
As far as “inspiration” goes, it’s really rather basic. My book is about a woman who experiences amnesia after an accident—losing the entire frame of time in which she’d known her husband. Essentially, she wakes up one day to discover she’s married to a stranger. The story, then, is about how she learns to love him again. I’d read the real story decades ago in the newspaper and it had stuck with me. When I started writing historical romance, I thought it would make a great book. But very little of what actually happens to my couple mirrors the real story. It’s set in a different time period and place, and they face different obstacles. But, still, I was embarrassed that it hadn’t been entirely my idea.
I finally realized that my fear was tied to the whole imposter-syndrome thing. I’m working hard to overcome this fear—as this blog post attests. It’s my IS Anonymous (“Hello, my name is Sharon and I am an imposter.” “Hello, Sharon.”).
I can’t say that I’ve got my imposter syndrome completely under control. In fact, I might suggest that you now go back to ignoring the man behind the curtain. Enjoy the illusion he’s creating instead.
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