A Curious Question About Toast

by Sharon Kayne

I had lunch today with a couple of friends at a newish place in an old house in Downtown Albuquerque. It’s called Curious Toast Café and, as you can image, it has a very toast-centric menu. It also has some curiously unusual art (including a slightly creepy Alice in Wonderland piece, which was curiouser and curiouser, the closer you looked). I had a Curious Cubano with a side of home fries (in case you were curious), and it was very good.

The name of the café is propitious because I’ve always been curious about one particular aspect of toast. That is: the British like to eat theirs cold. On purpose. In fact, they have little cooling racks on which they place the toast so it can cool while the waiter brings it to your table. I’m guessing the Brits also serve their toast cold at home, otherwise the restaurants would be getting complaints. (From people other than Americans like me, of course.) Here’s what I’m curious about: have they never tried their toast warm with melted butter? Because, if they had, I can’t imagine that they would choose to eat it cold.

I’m willing to say that a nice piece of toasted bread, still warm and covered with melted butter, has got to be one of the all-time, top-five comfort foods. I’m talking worldwide, here. In fact, when I’ve been sick, it’s often the only food that sounds good to me. But cold toast with un-melted butter? Might as well be eating Saltines. I know the British are keen to put jams and preserves on their toast, so I’m thinking that may be why they like it cold. I don’t eat my toast that way, but my husband does and he assures me that, even with jam, it’s still better to eat toast when it’s warm than after it’s cooled. So, who knows?

Of course, there are lots of things about England and the British people that I don’t understand. Most of the rest of the food they eat, for a start—too much of it overcooked and under-seasoned. I wonder why they feel the need to stick a silent ‘u’ in the word ‘color.’ (Although, it is their language. We’ve just borrowed it, so I suppose we can’t really complain.) Also, why they drive on the wrong side of the road. To be honest, the one time I drove in England, I found it far more disturbing to be sitting in the wrong side of the car than to be driving on the left side of the road. I also don’t get the whole monarchy thing, although I understand that, these days, it’s really all about the entertainment value.

There is one thing the Brits do really well, however, that has made me want to relocate there: universal health care. From time to time, I’ll meet someone who has moved to the U.S. from the U.K. or some other country with universal health care. I’m always curious to know why they would come to a place where your ability to see a doctor is based on what kind of job you have. Despite my curiosity, I’ve never asked. I imagine they all come here to take the kind of job that offers health insurance, or for a spouse/partner who has just such a job. But the problem with that is, if the job (or spouse) goes away, so does the health insurance. I suspect these first-world immigrants aren’t thinking about health care in those terms. Probably because they’ve never been without access, so they don’t know just how terrifying that is.

I’m guessing they’ve also never tasted their toast when it’s warm and the butter is melted. But if there are any Brits reading my blog, I beg you to give it a try. Snag your bread as soon as it pops out of the toaster and then slather on the butter, letting it melt into all the little bread nooks and crannies. Eat it while it’s still warm. And then, if you still really prefer it the British way, please post a comment letting me know why.

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